Dick J. Reavis : The Narco Republic of Texas

If Texas were an independent nation, [Perry] could let the narco globalists set up headquarters in Highland Park, near a busy airport. After all, if Houston can host Enron and KBR, what harm is done if Dallas attracts cartels?

By Dick J. Reavis / The Rag Blog / May 7, 2009

When Rick Perry used the word “sovereignty” in a speech at a tea-bagger demonstration, some of his followers chanted “secede!” They gave pundits, far and wide, a chance to mock, deplore and accuse Texans again. Perry and his crew played both roles that are incumbent on Texas in the national media: as clowns and villains. Most columnists called them “crazy,” and at least one said the very idea was “treasonous.”

Of course, Perry and his party had guffaws coming — but for other reasons. One has to sympathize with anybody who wants to break from the Empire, however impractical the idea may seem.

I have always aspired to be the first governor of the Socialist Military Republic of Texas, an ambition that Perry is too clueless to entertain. Blessings would accrue to Texans if, under my leadership, we were to break away. A few of them are:

1. Texans would no longer have to participate in costly conquests. As a small nation, we could not make war on other governments, and the loss of the cannon fodder and bases we provide the United States would hobble its undying ambition to rule the world badly.

2. An independent Texas could make up with its mother, Mexico. Were I in charge, I’d order the dismantling of the walls along the Rio Grande and have them rebuilt along the Red and Sabine.

3. In order to establish economic and cultural equality, I’d resurrect the slogan “Made in Texas, By Texans,” and would institute policies of preferential hiring for Texans in universities, the media, and national government. If Texas has a culture, it shouldn’t, as at present, be largely in alien hands.

I don’t say any of this entirely in jest. Instead, I proceed from common sense, which holds that Nothing is Forever. If that adage is true, the United States is not eternal. Like the Soviet Union, like Yugoslavia, like the Austro-Hungarian and Ottoman and British empires, it will someday dissolve into its constituent parts.

The only problem I see with the Republic of Reavis (my apologies to Plato) is that it requires the inclusion of the term “Military.” That’s because I know my people. I can’t imagine that anyone in Texas would endorse my ideas, except maybe in the wake of a revolution or coup.

But Perry doesn’t have the socialist handicap. If he’d been smart, he could have attracted potent forces to the cause of independence. His mistake was that he shouldn’t have said “sovereignty.” Instead the governor should have said, “cartel.” The boys who run the Zetas and the Gulf, Sinaloa and Juárez outfits could give him some muscle if he wants to stand off the feds. Of course, he’d have to do a favor for them. If Texas were an independent nation, he could let the narco globalists set up headquarters in Highland Park, near a busy airport. After all, if Houston can host Enron and KBR, what harm is done if Dallas attracts cartels? Murder and fraud are old-line, respectable business in the Lone Star State.

The only consequence I can see for Perry is that if the narcos moved into Highland Park, his mentor George Bush would have to flee, because Bush brought a passel of Mexican narco executives to trial and imprisonment in the United States.

The Narco-Military Republic of Texas! It couldn’t hold a candle to the glories of my Military Republic, but maybe the idea deserves second place.

[Rag Blog contributor Dick J. Reavis is an award-winning journalist, educator and author. He wrote for Austin’s underground newspaper The Rag, and was a senior editor at Texas Monthly magazine. Dick Reavis’ book, The Ashes of Waco: An Investigation, about the siege and burning of the Branch Davidian compound, was published by Simon and Schuster and may be the definitive work on the subject.]

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