TO: Whomever is no longer concerned
FROM: Scott, president, founder, and only member of THE UNASSOCIATED ASSOCIATION OF AMERICAN PAUPERS QUASI-REVOLUTIONARY QUITTERS CLUB
I (your name goes here), having CONCLUDED, based on the undeniable reality that all American problems invariably become exponentially clusterfucked and are always forcefully contagious, and that the American dream is a tiresome, unrewarding bad trip, not worth the efforts or the casualties. Understanding that participation is complicity, resistance is futile. Having consumed all the mind-numbing propaganda that I can bare. Being duly aware that, I, by having neglected to contribute to the coffers of the winning campaigns can expect no favors and no mercy. Having zero interest in the present electoral outcomes, even for their circus-like entertainment value.
We understand that descent into total class war and social chaos is inevitable, unstoppable, and evolutionarily necessary. We fully expect to eventually be enslaved, incarcerated, tortured, shot in the cross-fire, blown-up by CIA terrorists, euthanised, or simply left behind when Jesus, or Sun Myung Moon, finally comes.
With no fond memories or illusions of any real loss whatsoever. With all patriotic tendencies as thoroughly deceased as the countless Iraqi victims of the spreading of “freedom and democracy”. With the foundations of my trust for authority as wobbly as WTC Building 7. With all community affectations rendered ineffective and foreclosed. With not even a hint of a faith-based initiative. With no demand for a raise in wages. No care for a tax break. With no pleas for food stamp allotment increases or cost of living adjustments. Having no part to play in the stimulus program. With no expectations of receiving medical assistance from any of the greedy, incompetent, indifferent, upper-class medical professionals in this sanctimonious society of hustlers and pickle vendors. With no hopes of a secure, comfortable, contented, or full life. With no care for how my body is disposed of when I am relieved of the need for it. Not giving a shit who inherits my earthly belongings, if any shall somehow remain in my possession at the time of my demise or abduction.
Having no desire to profit from such an aggressively militant, murderous, deceptive, oligarchical, purified, religiously confused, environmentally rapacious culture. With no inclination to consume slave made wares, to eat toxic or genetically modified corporate American food or to interact socially with a generally lost and misguided society of hopelessly hypnotized consumer slaves or their xenophobic sycophantic superiors — preferring to be alone unto myself.
Knowing full well that I may be trampled in the cardboard box that I may be living in when the banks finally fail, the grocery trucks run out of gas, the plug gets pulled from the hologram, the shit hits the fan,and the urban masses stampedes towards the countryside in search of the farmers’ chickens or things to steal to trade for a rat-meat sandwich or a new tattoo, do hereby OPT OUT OF THE AMERICAN DREAM, goodbye and good riddance.
